by Joan Heartfield, Ph.D.
WhyAreWeWhispering.com



Q. It's nice that this world is becoming more acceptable to sexuality. It is in need of some serious awakening indeed!!

I need to learn how to be a better lover while “on top.” I seem to have built up some kind of shyness/feeling incapable towards that position, which is REALLY LAME! What works? ~Female, U.S.


I hear your frustration at not being able to enjoy one of our most natural positions. Men generally love having the woman on top, especially if she if enjoying herself. What men are hungry for is to see a woman in ecstasy, so instead of focusing on your shyness, start focusing on increasing your pleasure.

If it helps to close your eyes to begin with, do that, and focus on the sensation in your pussy, in Sanskrit called yoni -- your ‘sacred space’ -- as well as on your pearl, your clitoris. Start slow and move your body around. Find the position that feels the best to you and really get into enjoying the pleasurable feelings.

Then open your eyes and notice how happy this makes your partner.

Another delightful experience is to think of dancing on your partner’s penis (lingam), his ‘wand of light’. Put on some great music that rocks you and let your body move to the beat.

Most of all play and have fun. The best sex is when you can tap into your erotic innocence as well as your pleasure. When that is also hooked up to your heart and your consciousness, watch out. You’ll not only have the time of your life, you’ll have your partner just where you want him.