It was a hell of a day today. Exhausted and a bit beleagured, I came home and looked over my first draft of this, my first ever Blog, and thought, “I'll just reset my mind before I venture further.”

What better for inspiring reflection than the TV series Two and a Half Men?

Yeah, very deep…but laughter is good medicine.

What popped up on my screen was this: Jake (the half man) asks Charlie (the questionable adult man) if he should ask a girl out.

Charlie: Yeah, what's the worst that can happen?
Jake: She'll laugh at me.
Charlie: No, the worst that can happen is she says yes. You go out together, end up married. She leaves you and takes everything. Every penny. Including your car.

Exactly three seconds off topic and what? Predicting. From a very young age we are challenged to predict what will happen. We learn to become excited by fairy tales and stories as parents and babysitters create drama with the turn of each page. The excitement we feel from a story happens during those ‘dangerous’ moments -- fear imprints a much stronger response. We learn to predict that the witch is around the corner and squeal and squirm at the thought; our mind fills in every detail and outcome possible so as to be 'right' about what will happen. Eventually the story comes to a climax, then to an unceremonious end, and everyone’s relieved. We’re told to shut it all down and ‘go to sleep.’

This ‘predicting danger’ patterning continues throughout our adulthood, usually unnoticed consciously - but your body is always chemically preparing you for this imagined dilemma. So, when your adult mind takes you for a negative ‘danger’ story spin, observe the process. Start noticing when your chemicals are firing repeatedly by the innocent, yet traumatizing, production studio in your head. This 3D horror movie sets off adrenaline, cortisol and epinephrine and they in turn set off a rapid heart rate, clenched muscles and constricted breath. Feel this body wide response. You don't need to bungee to get your juice. You don't need to force your brain and it's reward (pleasure) response by jolting it this way.

Whatever you give your attention and belief to will create your experience. Focus, or resist what you perceive as negative and that’s just what you’ll get. We often believe that by predicting every possible bad or ‘dangerous’ outcome we will avoid surprise - viewing surprise as embarrassing or shameful – two emotions we just can't bear. In a way its like a premature ejaculation of the much more pleasant elixir your body would stir up if you allow the moment to unfold naturally.

Counter the need to predict with some trust in mother nature. We all know that it's the night you're wearing period underwear (big, cotton and fugly), not expecting, not predicting, just comfy in your own skin...that 'it' happens. And while we're on chemicals, you might remind yourself that most interludes are laced with the fantastic effects of hormones and pheromones, both intensifying attraction and softening rejection.

If you can afford to be sluiced in fight or flight chemicals repeatedly just to prepare yourself for a remotely possible moment of chagrin, then have at it... but I'd rather see you take hold of those thoughts, cancel them or reverse them and allow your mind and body a little rest. And some more pleasure...

Are you telling fairy tales without the happy endings? Or do you have musicals showing 3 times a day?

Please tell me, I'd love to know.